| Have you ever wanted to be so fabulously wealthy
that you could swim in your money? Well thanks to DuckTales, the show
that taught a whole new generation of children the stereotype that
the Scottish are cheap, you can learn to be this rich too.
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Step 1:Instead of buying an expensive diamond mine in Africa, buy a worthless coal mine. After all, it's so hot in Africa that no one would ever use coal there.
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Step 2:Now trek out to your mine. Make sure you bring some ridiculously stereotyped natives to carry your luggage and two fops whose monacles you can make fall down.
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Step 3:Toss the peanuts you brought among the coal (note: this will only work if the coal in the "mine" is actually just laying around on the ground).
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Step 4:As all of us have observed in daily life, a handfull of peanuts immediately brings a stampede of elephants.
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Step 5:While eating the peanuts the elephants will naturally step on every piece of coal laying about.
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Step 6: Profit!The pressure from the elephants will have created gem quality diamonds out of all the coal. You're now fabulously wealthy!!!!
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Step 7:Now you can swim through your piles and piles of gold since it has the same physical properties as water.
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